Billy Connolly has been making people laugh since the 1970s with his hilarious, off-the-cuff stand-up performance.
On television Connolly starred in the final season of the popular sitcom Head of the Class. He has also starred in a wide range of films including Indecent Proposal, Muppet Treasure Island, The Boondock Saints (I and II), Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, and the upcoming Gulliver's Travels.
Billy Connolly performs March 12 and 13 at 8 p.m. at the Bagley Wright Theatre.
Been to Seattle before?
Never once. I've always wanted to, but all the tours I've been on just never went there. You know people say it rains there all the time but I don't give a shit, I'm Scottish, I'm waterproof.
Any naked dancing planned for your visit?
No, I usually only do that on those documentary travel films I do. I got into the habit of doing it because I did it once and then I was thinking, oh, what do I do to top that for my next film, and I thought, ah fuck it, I'll just do another naked dance. Actually the last one I did in New Zealand and I did a naked bungee.
I hope nothing was harmed by whatever harness you were wearing.
No, it's a boot thing. It's a boot harness that's calf-length. And the rest of me was pink and fluffy.
You've had a long career in which you've sung folk music, written books, acted in numerous movies and television shows, and of course, stand-up comedy. Do you have a favorite? What makes you happiest?
Comedy is my calling. The rest of it is incidental. I like acting and I like acting well, and music is something, well, some people are musicians and some aren't and I'm an aren't. But comedy--it's at once exhilarating and frightening. And when I'm on the stage doing it, I'm very very happy.
You're going to be doing two shows in Seattle, and you've done a lot of marathon, multi-date runs of shows in your career. How do you keep it fresh and exciting doing so many shows in a row?
It's kind of a weird thing. It takes work. I do about two, two and a half hours usually and it's kept fresh by trying to remember it most of the time. Half the time I can't remember everything so I have to make up stuff. I don't write it down, you see. I've never written it in my life. I was tempted to try writing it down afterward when things went really well, but I never got around to doing that.
There was an ad-lib I did once that lasted a very long time. It was a whole sketch, just ad-libbed. It's on YouTube, you can look up "Billy Connolly Wildebeast." And that's its only performance. I've thought since, maybe I should do that wildebeast thing, but what did I say about them wildebeasts, ah fuck it, I don't remember.
You've played many different roles on film, but most people know you as a comedian. How fun was it to play Il Duce, a complete badass, in The Boondock Saints?
Oh, I loved that. It's brilliant. Being a badass is wonderful because badasses do interesting things. Nice guys are just nice. They go to work and feed their family, but a badass can kill people they don't like with a nine millimeter. It just gives life that little slant. That happy little slant of your fantasies. It's a wonderful world to live in for ninety minutes.
Recently you got to work with Jack Black and Jason Segel in the upcoming Gulliver's Travels. Having been in comedy for many years, do younger comedic actors ever come to you for advice?
Oh no. God no. And I have such respect for those guys. Jason Segel, he's got to be some kind of genius, the way he can write. Even on the set, during a break he was writing a song for another movie--a splendid song. He's a terrific guy. And there's Jack. Imagine me giving Jack Black advice, I mean, good god. I just had the best time with those two. We just laughed the whole time.
And I'm really glad they were so nice because there was a lot of green screen you know, so you're acting to a laser point on a wall which can bore you shitless. And the whole time Jack's standing just off to the side doing his part, so with every essence of my being I want to turn and speak to him, but you know, he's a giant so I have to talk to a fucking piece of duct tape up on the wall instead. Personally I'd rather drink bleach than have to act that way all the time.
Some of your comedy has been very anti-religious, specifically with respect to the Catholic Church.
No, I don't like religion. I think religion is a con.
To your knowledge, have you ever offended anyone at a show?
Never. Never. People generally know where I stand. No, I don't like religion. There's a lot about it I don't like.
There was an article in the Seattle Times today about the Catholic church launching an ad campaign to bring former Catholics back to church. I thought you might find it amusing because apparently some of the ads feature nuns playing soccer.
Oh my god, nuns playing soccer. Yeah, they'll do anything. Anything but speak about the real thing. Yeah, pedophilia is fun. But I'm not particularly anti-Catholic. I mean, I think Mormons are mentally ill. And Islam and Judaism--I think they're all nuts. It's peculiar that someone believes in a big man in the sky who's watching you all the time. It's nonsense. It's mental illness to me.
In 1975, you told a joke on the BBC show Parkinson, about a man who finds an interesting use for his dead wife. Will you share that joke with us?
Oh god, yes. I love that one. Funny thing is, it's really not that funny anymore, but in 1975 it was front line, hard edge to say something like that on television. So this guy, he's in a bar and he confesses to his friend that he's just murdered his wife. He says, "I've had it. It was just too much, the nagging, I couldn't take it so I killed her." His friend says, "You're kidding." And he says, "No no, I've killed her and I've buried her in a little shed behind the house." His friend says, "Are you having me on here?" "No no no, I've done it. I've buried her in the shed. I'll show you if you like." So sure enough he takes his friend to the the shed and there's a big mound of earth there in the middle of the floor with a bare ass sticking up out of it. A big pink bare ass stinking up out of the dirt. "Is that your wife, is it?" the friend asks. "Why did you leave her ass sticking out like that?" And the guy says, "Well I needed someplace to park my bicycle."
(Much laughter from myself and Billy)
It's still funny.
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