The World Cup in My Tummy: Denmark and Holland

David Swidler is eating, drinking, and cooking his way through all 32 World Cup countries, much like he does at his site cookingvssports.com.

How is it possible that the people of Washington and Mississippi belong to the same country, yet the citizens of Denmark and Holland do not?

Of their many similarities, both of these countries have a globe-covering mass-produced beer. Denmark gave the world Carlsberg, and Holland put Heineken in our lives, who in turn gave us the driving dog.

In fact, as far as I can tell, the only difference between Denmark, Holland, and the Netherlands is that Holland has been playing an exciting style of soccer since the days of Jen Van Der Vlasman, and the Danish like to publish children's books about suicidal mermaids.

Heineken was the first imported beer to enter the U.S. after prohibition ended and continues to be our number-one import. (Molson, you have no excuse.) Carlsberg has been brewed in Denmark since the mid-1850s, and some of its past logos include an elephant and a swastika. Can you guess which one was dropped in the 1930s?

Now as Three Sheets Denmark taught us, both countries have tasty microbrews, however, you try and find a Mirror Pond Pale Ale in Viborg or Haarlemmermeer.

For some reason, a six-pack of Carlsberg, which tastes like our mass-produced Budweiser Miller Coors, costs eleven bucks at both Bottleworks on 45th and at the QFC next door. Do the Danes make us pay their socialist taxes, or are they still mad about The Prince and Me? I ended up buying a pint at Murphy's down the street, where they don't serve Dutch beer (racists). So I had to find some other bar that would serve us a Heineken, which took about seven seconds.

Heineken and Carlsberg: from small, white person-filled, coastal, non-threatening regions come global beer empires. Ah, that is why the microbeer boom started in the Northwest and not down Dixie way.