The End of The Killing is Near

June 16, 2012

This Monday marks an Independence Day of sorts. Because after Sunday night’s season (and hopefully series) finale of The Killing, I can finally find out who killed Rosie Larsen and then never watch this terrible show ever again. I look forward to the day when I can point out all the Northwest-related errors in Top Chef: Seattle. But first let’s take a look back at the penultimate episode of The Killing, because there are a ton of inaccuracies all up in this shit.

The End of The Killing is in Sight: Jamie and/or Gwen Killed Rosie Larsen

June 10, 2012

As The Killing creeps towards its conclusion, tonight is the first half of the two-part season finale–which is a fancy way of saying “second-to-last episode.” So let’s take a look at the most recent, third-to-last episode (“The Bulldog”). It’s Day 24, Halloween, the day before the Seattle mayoral election, and Linden, fresh out of the loony bin, wakes up in her car.

Hooray, Only Three Episodes Left of The Killing

June 1, 2012

After Mad Men, one of greatest shows of the medium, put forth one of the finest hours of television ever, it seems almost sacrilege to turn our collective gaze to The Killing. But turn our gaze I must. For here we are. This Sunday, the first of the final three episodes of the season–and hopefully, the series–will air. To mark that, the most recent episode had the title “72 Hours,” which is yet another not-so-subtle nod to what remains of their audience. Yeah, we get it, 72 hours, three more days in this show’s timeline, till you finally reveal who killed Rosie Larsen, and I hate you for it, Veena Sud. But let’s power through. Day 23 of The Killing dawns foggy and rainy like it only is in the TV version of Seattle.

So I Was Wrong About The Killing, So What?

May 22, 2012

I previously predicted that the incredibly stupid AMC crime drama The Killing was so stupid that the heretofore unintroduced character David Rainer (which should be spelled “David Rainier”), supposedly the real father of dead Ballard teenager Rosie Larsen, would end up being the alter ego of Seattle mayoral candidate Darren Richmond. Because of initials. And that was not the case. No, David Rainer was just a heretofore unintroduced character living in Blaine. Because that’s the flavor of stupidity we’re dealing with here.

It’s Same Shit, Different Day on The Killing

May 15, 2012

Previously, on my coverage of AMC’s The Killing: I figured out everything. Who Killed Rosie Larsen? Who is David Rainer? And/or Who is Rosie’s Real Father? But I cannot answer the big questions: When will this terrible show be over?

Don’t Watch The Rest of The Killing! Here’s How It Ends!

May 8, 2012

What else needs to get wrapped up on this stupid show? Oh yeah, who killed Rosie Larsen? I’m going to stick with my original prediction of Jamie, just because nearly every other character has already been a suspect by now, and I have played the game of Clue.