Jack Hollenbach

Billy Connolly has been making people laugh since the 1970s with his hilarious, off-the-cuff stand-up performance.

On television Connolly starred in the final season of the popular sitcom Head of the Class. He has also starred in a wide range of films including Indecent Proposal, Muppet Treasure Island, The Boondock Saints (I and II), Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, and the upcoming Gulliver's Travels.

Billy Connolly performs March 12 and 13 at 8 p.m. at the Bagley Wright Theatre.

Been to Seattle before?

Never once. I've always wanted to, but all the tours I've been on just never went there. You know people say it rains there all the time but I don't give a shit, I'm Scottish, I'm waterproof.

Any naked dancing planned for your visit?

No, I usually only do that on those documentary travel films I do. I got into the habit of doing it because I did it once and then I was thinking, oh, what do I do to top that for my next film, and I thought, ah fuck it, I'll just do another naked dance. Actually the last one I did in New Zealand and I did a naked bungee.

I hope nothing was harmed by whatever harness you were wearing.

No, it's a boot thing. It's a boot harness that's calf-length. And the rest of me was pink and fluffy.

You've had a long career in which you've sung folk music, written books, acted in numerous movies and television shows, and of course, stand-up comedy. Do you have a favorite? What makes you happiest?

Comedy is my calling. The rest of it is incidental. I like acting and I like acting well, and music is something, well, some people are musicians and some aren't and I'm an aren't. But comedy--it's at once exhilarating and frightening. And when I'm on the stage doing it, I'm very very happy. 

You're going to be doing two shows in Seattle, and you've done a lot of marathon, multi-date runs of shows in your career. How do you keep it fresh and exciting doing so many shows in a row?

It's kind of a weird thing. It takes work. I do about two, two and a half hours usually and it's kept fresh by trying to remember it most of the time. Half the time I can't remember everything so I have to make up stuff. I don't write it down, you see. I've never written it in my life. I was tempted to try writing it down afterward when things went really well, but I never got around to doing that.

There was an ad-lib I did once that lasted a very long time. It was a whole sketch, just ad-libbed. It's on YouTube, you can look up "Billy Connolly Wildebeast." And that's its only performance. I've thought since, maybe I should do that wildebeast thing, but what did I say about them wildebeasts, ah fuck it, I don't remember.

You've played many different roles on film, but most people know you as a comedian. How fun was it to play Il Duce, a complete badass, in The Boondock Saints?

Oh, I loved that. It's brilliant. Being a badass is wonderful because badasses do interesting things. Nice guys are just nice. They go to work and feed their family, but a badass can kill people they don't like with a nine millimeter. It just gives life that little slant. That happy little slant of your fantasies. It's a wonderful world to live in for ninety minutes.

Recently you got to work with Jack Black and Jason Segel in the upcoming Gulliver's Travels. Having been in comedy for many years, do younger comedic actors ever come to you for advice?

Oh no. God no. And I have such respect for those guys. Jason Segel, he's got to be some kind of genius, the way he can write. Even on the set, during a break he was writing a song for another movie--a splendid song. He's a terrific guy. And there's Jack. Imagine me giving Jack Black advice, I mean, good god. I just had the best time with those two. We just laughed the whole time.

And I'm really glad they were so nice because there was a lot of green screen you know, so you're acting to a laser point on a wall which can bore you shitless. And the whole time Jack's standing just off to the side doing his part, so with every essence of my being I want to turn and speak to him, but you know, he's a giant so I have to talk to a fucking piece of duct tape up on the wall instead. Personally I'd rather drink bleach than have to act that way all the time.

Some of your comedy has been very anti-religious, specifically with respect to the Catholic Church.

No, I don't like religion. I think religion is a con.

To your knowledge, have you ever offended anyone at a show?

Never. Never. People generally know where I stand. No, I don't like religion. There's a lot about it I don't like.

There was an article in the Seattle Times today about the Catholic church launching an ad campaign to bring former Catholics back to church. I thought you might find it amusing because apparently some of the ads feature nuns playing soccer.

Oh my god, nuns playing soccer. Yeah, they'll do anything. Anything but speak about the real thing. Yeah, pedophilia is fun. But I'm not particularly anti-Catholic. I mean, I think Mormons are mentally ill. And Islam and Judaism--I think they're all nuts. It's peculiar that someone believes in a big man in the sky who's watching you all the time. It's nonsense. It's mental illness to me.

In 1975, you told a joke on the BBC show Parkinson, about a man who finds an interesting use for his dead wife. Will you share that joke with us?

Oh god, yes. I love that one. Funny thing is, it's really not that funny anymore, but in 1975 it was front line, hard edge to say something like that on television. So this guy, he's in a bar and he confesses to his friend that he's just murdered his wife. He says, "I've had it. It was just too much, the nagging, I couldn't take it so I killed her." His friend says, "You're kidding." And he says, "No no, I've killed her and I've buried her in a little shed behind the house." His friend says, "Are you having me on here?" "No no no, I've done it. I've buried her in the shed. I'll show you if you like." So sure enough he takes his friend to the the shed and there's a big mound of earth there in the middle of the floor with a bare ass sticking up out of it. A big pink bare ass stinking up out of the dirt. "Is that your wife, is it?" the friend asks. "Why did you leave her ass sticking out like that?" And the guy says, "Well I needed someplace to park my bicycle."

(Much laughter from myself and Billy)

It's still funny.

More hockey! This time in our own backyard. Thanks to prolific Seattle photographer Chris Blakeley for sharing this fun shot with us.

The greatest success of George Lucas' life was making a robot that looks like a garbage can so cute and charming. Thanks to SunBreak Flickr pool contributer Great Beyond for this heart-warming closeup.

Like many not-regular hockey spectators, I've still got hockey on the brain after Sunday's USA vs. Canada Death Match, so this photo pairing by cherished SunBreak Flickr contributer Slightlynorth really stood out to me. Plus you've got to love the excitement on these kids' faces.

A cozy NW living room indeed. Thanks to +Russ for sharing with our SunBreak Flickr pool.

Russell Hodgkinson and Charles Leggett. Photo by Chris Bennion.

"First prize is a Cadillac. Second prize is steak knives. Third prize? You're fired." That iconic line from David Mamet's Glengarry Glen Ross is one of the most easily recalled by those of us who've seen the all-star film version. This line is completely absent from the play, of course, as it belongs to Blake, a character written into the film by Mamet for Alec Baldwin. For those who've only seen the film, it is at first difficult to imagine it without Baldwin's character. Blake is a brusque, dominating figure whose jarring speech to the salesmen at the beginning of the film startles first-time viewers into understanding they're in for something a little different.

Happily, my little worry about no Blake was for naught. Moments after the curtain is drawn, Blake never existed.

For the uninitiated, Glengarry Glen Ross (Seattle Repertory Theatre; runs through the 28th; tickets $15-$59) is the story of four inglorious Chicago real estate agents driven to desperate acts in an attempt to keep their jobs.

As the audience moves about, finding their seats or standing in the aisle chatting, the curtain is wide open, an impressive set visible to all. It's a slightly run-down office mere feet from the El train. File cabinets, cardboard boxes, and four nondescript desks make up the main floor, and metal stairs lead up to a private office where a man in a necktie and suspenders pokes around, sifting through papers and smoking a cigarette. He's a mere curiosity at first, until the house lights begin to slowly come down and people rush to take their seats. Our man walks down the stairs, casually flipping lights off as he moves through the office. The audience finally becomes silent. He dons his jacket and puffs on his cigarette a few more times before opening the front door, hitting the final light switch, and walking out of sight. And with the thud of the door closing behind him, the theatre goes black. 

Before we know it, the stage lights come up and suddenly the office is gone--we're in a Chinese restaurant with plush red booths lining the wall and two shabby-looking men in neckties engaged in conversation. It's a neat trick which draws a huge applause. And now the real fun begins as salesmen Shelly Levene, Dave Moss, George Aaronow, and smooth-talking Ricky Roma all fight to stay on the board and keep their jobs.

Glengarry Glen Ross is all about dialogue. The entire play is thick with breakneck, profanity-laden exchanges between men who thrive on outsmarting and out-talking the other guy. Each dust-up is a clash of egos, a measuring of cocks. The only exception being Aaronow, who seems meek and impotent compared to his colleagues.

Competition aside, the salesmen don't really have any beef with each other. It's the ass-kissing office manager, John Williamson, everyone has a problem with. The guy holding the good leads. The one who's never worked the street like the rest of them. And they don't mind telling him how they feel about him. "You really are a shithead," Levene says, smiling, after Roma has already verbally handed his ass to him.

As graphic as the language is, one hardly notices that aspect of it. The words themselves become secondary to the overall poetry of it all. Sure, there are a lot of F-bombs and the like, but it's the rhythm, the beat, the stylish repetition of the language throughout that makes this play such an experience.

As someone who'd seen the film before but not the play, it was impossible not to compare the two, but that's part of the fun. Obviously, the main difference is that the film is full of big-time stars--Alec Baldwin, Jack Lemmon, Alan Arkin, Ed Harris, Al Pacino, Kevin Spacey--all legends of the big screen. The character of Shelly Levene, an aging, once-successful man, seemed to me to be the only similarly-acted part. Though, it'd be hard not to channel Jack Lemmon's amazing portrayal of Levene. That said, I do not, in any way, mean to diminish the phenomenal job done by John Aylward.

If you haven't seen the film, rent it. It's great. The Wilson Milam-directed play, however, is better (SunBreak interview with Milam here). Throwing out the movie stars for a talented local cast makes it all the more believable and witnessing Mamet's cadenced, colorful wordplay firsthand is truly thrilling.

Generally speaking, I avoid beer festivals. They're always crowded, usually overpriced, and often the beer list isn't all that different from the top two shelves found in one of the many beer shops around town. Belgianfest, however, took no arm-twisting at all for my attendance.

Twenty-five Washington breweries--an impressive figure on its own--came together for one day to showcase a common love: Belgian beer. To have this many breweries on hand offering up their take on over fifty different Belgian style beers is a dream come true. And to top it off, also in attendance were Dante's Inferno Dogs, Bluebird Homemade Ice Cream, and oh-my-god-amazing Sweet Iron Waffles.

First, the space. The Engine Room at Georgetown Studios (the original Rainier Brewery in Georgetown) was the perfect space for this festival--a large, airy room with sky-high ceilings and lofty windows filling the festival with natural sunlight. This made the crowd only more happy to be here.

The only downside to this festival was the epic fail of restroom planning. Hundreds of people drinking ten healthy samples each of beer equates to a hell of a lot more than the two single-stall restrooms on the premises. Luckily, the Jules Maes Saloon across the street was very accommodating to the folks who simply could not wait to do their business. To their credit, the organizers did realize the error of their ways and ordered up a truckload of porta-potties for the evening session.

Here are a few notes on each of the beers I sampled, along with an extremely complicated and scientific rating system to tell you how much I liked it:

• Une Terreur Sainte (Belgian Golden) by Naked City Brewery: Rating = 5.0 (out of 5.0). This beer had a golden amber color, a touch of spice, and just the right amount of fruitiness. It was crisp, refreshing, and was one of my favorites of the day.

 

• Pour les Oiseaux (Wine Barrel Aged Saison) by Black Raven Brewing Company: Rating = 2.5. This Saison (also known as a farmhouse ale) was a dry, blond ale, aged in French oak Chardonnay and Viognier wine barrels. The wine barrel flavor was very subtle, but it was there. Overall, a pleasant beer, but not very exciting.

 

• Bete Noel (Belgian Strong Ale) by Elysian Brewing Company: Rating = 4.0. This strong ale stood out as something very unlike many of the other Belgian ales I sampled, as it is very dark in color with a wonderful flavor of roasted barley, black malts, and a sweet finish courtesy of Turbinado sugar.

 

• Boundary Bay Tripel (Belgian Tripel) by Boundary Bay Brewery: Rating = 4.5. A strong, medium-bodied ale with mild spice notes and a warming alchohol flavor. Though in some ways very similar in taste to Naked City's Belgian Golden, I didn't find this one quite as refreshing. That's not to say, however, that this wasn't an excellent beer.

 

• Polywog Grand Cru (Grand Cru) by Issaquah Brewhouse: Rating = 5.0. Dee-licisous. Bing cherry juices added during fermentation and then put in Pinot wine barrels that had Rogue's Pink Gin aged in them. This beer was the winner of the day in my book. That is, until I tasted the next beer...

 

• Grand Cru (Grand Cru) by Dick's Brewing Company: Rating = 5.0. Hands down, best in show--one of the most delicious beers I've ever had. At first taste, very similar to Polywog Grand Cru until I did a side-by-side taste test. First difference is appearance. Polywog Grand Cru is more cloudy than Dick's. It's also more rich with hints of egg nog or vanilla notes. Dick's Grand Cru was more clear, crisp, and refreshing. The flavor profile more complex and fruity.

 

• Donkey Deux (Belgian Dubbel) by Georgetown Brewing Company: Rating = 3.5. This was a very good middle-of-the-road Belgian ale. I feel like I need to try this one again outside the context of all these other great beers. By the time I got to this one it had already been overshadowed by Dick's amazing Grand Cru.

Great Beyond shares yet another piece of irrefutable evidence that Chucks (red ones especially) will always and forever be in style.

There is a special, symbiotic relationship between dog and tennis ball. It wasn't always this way, of course, but evolution has made it so. Thanks to shawnmebo for sharing this wonderful example of the complexities of our universe.

"One of the things I love about Seattle is how the Space Needle is visible from such a variety of locations," says ozmafan. We love that too.