Fast X (2023 | USA | 141 minutes | Louis Leterrier)
So. There’s a new Fast and Furious movie out. Let’s talk about it.
Fast X is the tenth F&F movie and it’s reported to be the penultimate in the franchise. Number eleven will be the final chapter. Or maybe not. How many farewell tours has KISS embarked on? Either way, Fast X is the first half of what will likely be a film epic. In 2025, we’ll see things blow up in ways people in 2023 never dreamed of. Consider it: Fast and the Furious: Infinity War.
Nearly everyone from the previous F&F movies makes an appearance here, including, yes, Paul Walker. So many people are brought into this movie that it doesn’t have enough room for them and they’re presumably alluding to bigger parts in Fast 11. With a supervillain like Dante Reyes, Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) can’t do it alone. It was a wise person, either Anton Chekhov, or me, who said if you introduce Jason Statham in the first act, he must beat the crap out of someone by the third.
Dante Reyes (Jason Momoa) is out for revenge because he blames Dom and his crew (or family) for the death of his father Hernan. While Hernan is Dante’s father per F&F canon (Hernan was the bad guy in Fast Five), I prefer to view Dante as the love child of Dr. Frank-N-Furter and Freddy Mercury, who then grew up to become a megalomaniacal sociopath. Dante doesn’t want to just kill Dom, he wants to torture him prior to his death. If he achieves world domination along the way, all the better.
There are plenty of easter eggs and references that should delight fans of the series, even if the movie isn’t particularly great. The movie runs on adrenaline and Red Bull. Not many minutes pass without an explosion or car chase.
I must make two points. The first is that the dialogue is extremely bad. Nothing anyone said felt natural. Dante was the closest person to being animated but even his lines lacked any real wit. Like David St. Hubbins put it, “it’s such a fine line between stupid and clever.” The second point is that the action is extremely fun and well-executed. If my dream of an Oscar for blowing stuff up ever becomes a reality, this would win handily this year.
I can’t give this movie one star because the action scenes are so good but I can’t give it five stars because the dialogue is so terrible. Let’s split the difference.
Fast X is playing in theaters just about everywhere.