Jungle Cruise (2021 | USA | 158 mins | Jaume Collet-Serra)
Jungle Cruise, based on the Disney World amusement park ride of the same name, begins in the early 1800’s with Lily (Emily Blunt) and MacGregor (Jack Whitehall) McHughton attempting to convince a bunch of stuffed shirts to allow them to borrow an artifact that they believe will lead the two to a tree with healing powers beyond anything the world could imagine. Lily manages to nab the artifact without permission thoroughly pissing off an ominous German military man who desires the same magical healing only to help the German army in WWI. He then pursues them throughout the film as the perpetual baddy causing havoc. After a number of mishaps and deceptions Frank (Dwayne Johnson), a gruff yet charming riverboat captain, agrees to take the siblings through treacherous terrain to find the ancient tree, hinting at designs of his own. A lot of dad jokes, some love/hate chemistry between Lily and Frank, and a bit of danger leads us to their final destination where they face off with several enemies while attempting to gain their prize.
What can you expect from a film that’s based on an amusement park ride? I mean, if you go by Disney’s history with this type of thing consider The Haunted Mansion (Eddie Murphy), Mission to Mars (Tim Robbins, Gary Sinise), Tower of Terror (Steve Guttenberg, a young Kirsten Dunst), and of course the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise (Johnny Depp). None of those titles necessarily elicit excitement, but after doing a little research (i.e., binging several of them over the last couple days) Disney could do a lot worse with a lot more. Lets just say I didn’t have a bad time watching any of them, but they’ll remain forgettable goofball films in my movie memory-bank. It is funny to think Disney has made such a mint on what is basically stagnant animatronic characters dancing and singing as you move past them, but hey… why mess with a decent payday? Jungle Cruise was at least as good, if not better, than any of those I mention.
There are a few things that kept it from becoming an epic adventure story and instant classic. First, it was over two and a half hours long. That’s insane, especially if you want your kids to sit still for the entire film; sorry, it just won’t happen. They didn’t edit with the harsh analytical eye necessary, and while director Jaume Collet-Serra deftly created a world that draws in the audience, that’s just as easily done through set decoration and digital enhancement, no extra lingering looks or drama-inducing dialogue needed. Also two baddies is overkill, one would have done the trick. Navigating the diverging, then ultimately converging stories of both evil-doers is just too much. Adventuring and bad jokes can sit alongside a single, simpler storyline in a coherent and appropriately timed way. The crazy encounters and thrill-ride antics did keep your attention, but it wasn’t enough to justify making it that long.
Additionally, there were some fun little touches that were introduced, but never followed through on. Most glaringly, Blunt’s character used a camera to make a “moving picture” during the trip down river. It was only used as gimmick to intensify the romance between Frank and Lily via sweet glances to each other through the lens. Why not take the opportunity to create a “behind the scenes” that could be revisited to run during the credits, or as a distraction to the baddies so Frank can punch them in the face or Lily can leap up and grab the coveted bounty? It was a golden opportunity to enchant the audience and see through to the end an otherwise strangely unnecessary story element.
Down to brass tacks, Johnson and Blunt sparkled together. Frank’s incessant dad jokes actually made me laugh more than once and Lily’s tough, intelligent and physically agile character had me excited. While there were some problematic scenes that dulled my excitement: fake tribespeople to con Lily and MacGregor, stereotypical 1800’s woman-shaming to accentuate how empowered and strong Lily was despite them, and Frank as the savior of all on more than one occasion, it was really fun. I enjoyed it as much as either of the Jumanji reboots and it was more than vaguely reminiscent of Romancing the Stone and Indiana Jones which is a huge plus in my book.
I’ve seen some critics giving it a hard time, but other than its exhaustingly long run time, I’ll put it in the win column. From the looks of it, Disney is attempting to make this a multi-film franchise, but I would argue against it. This was a great standalone film, but if you keep running with it you’re bound to beat it senseless like the Pirates‘ films (which also could have simply kept to one installment and we’d be all the richer for it).
Jungle Cruise arrives in theaters and on Disney+ Premiere Access ($29.99) on July 30.
NOTE: If you’re willing to wait, it will be available to Disney+ subscribers at no additional cost after Premiere Access has ended.