Year: 2021

Reviews

Jungle Cruise is a ride worth taking, despite the lengthy trip

by Morgen Schuler

Jungle Cruise, based on the Disney World amusement park ride of the same name, begins in the early 1800’s with Lily (Emily Blunt) and MacGregor (Jack Whitehall) McHughton attempting to convince a bunch of stuffed shirts to allow them to borrow an artifact that they believe will lead the two to a tree with healing powers beyond anything the world could imagine. Lily manages to nab the artifact without permission thoroughly pissing off an ominous German military man who desires the same magical healing only to help the German army in WWI. He then pursues them throughout the film as the perpetual baddy causing havoc. After a number of mishaps and deceptions Frank (Dwayne Johnson), a gruff yet charming riverboat captain, agrees to take the siblings through treacherous terrain to find the ancient tree, hinting at designs of his own. A lot of dad jokes, some love/hate chemistry between Lily and Frank, and a bit of danger leads us to their final destination where they face off with several enemies while attempting to gain their prize.

Reviews

By being “good,” Old is M. Night Shyamalan’s best movie in twenty years

by Chris Burlingame

It almost appears hyperbolic to say Old is M. Night Shyamalan’s best film in decades, but he’s produced more shit over the past twenty years than what can be safely extracted through Jair Bolsonaro’s nose. It’s been a wild fall from grace where the director was telling magazine writers after the success of his breakthrough The Sixth Sense that he figured out the formula for making hit movies, and then he basically turned into Max Bialystock after his follow-up Unbreakable (his best movie, IMO). After a series of box office bombs, people began booing when his name was shown in trailers.

That’s not to say that Old isn’t ridiculous. It very much is. It’s camp, but it leans into it. 

Previews

Yo Joe! Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins mixes a little nostalgia with a decent storyline

by Morgen Schuler

Snake Eyes is all about the origin story of the popular character of the same name in the cartoon series (played here by Henry Golding). It started like so many hero origins do: a family member is killed in an incredibly traumatic way, the child swears revenge and dedicates their life to bringing it about. This one veers off the typical path of “good guy stops himself before its too late” and goes kinda dark instead. It’s a bit surprising considering this is billed as a sort of family flick (or maybe that was just my assumption since it’s based on a cartoon), but it still made for a good story. Snake goes to incredible lengths, and makes nice with some truly awful people, to accomplish his goal without learning his lesson until his choices cause irreparable damage; and honestly he’s pretty dang violent in the interim. I don’t think I’m adding any spoilers here (since we know him as a decent guy in the G.I. Joe universe), he finally comes to his senses; as the film ends he’s putting his efforts toward becoming a true American Hero.

Reviews

Here After is a single-shaming, frustrating take on love

by Morgen Schuler

An attractive forty-something, semi-successful actor from New York, Michael (Andy Karl), dies single. He’s told by a magical CEO (Christina Ricci) in a high rise in the sky that he has to find his soulmate to ascend and there’s a ticking clock to find them before he literally ceases to exist. So… eternity with a partner or you literally disappear never to be heard from again; useless and unloved.