Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023 | USA | 127 minutes | Steven Caple Jr.)
I grew up watching Transformers cartoons and extracting what must have been piles of cash from my parents to fill my shelves with Hasbro’s Transformers toys. Despite a childhood obsession with the robots in disguise, largely their ability to turn into cool cars or jets, I can’t really conjure much beyond the broadest outlines of the the core Transformers mythology let alone the incomprehensible plot embellishments that the animated franchise about hidden robots on earth took when exploded into the visually overwhelming live action grammar of a Michael Bay film franchise. I’d dipped out on the Bay-hem a few films ago but honestly had nothing better to do on Monday night, so, it was with some trepidation that I dipped back into the world of big screen robots in disguise.
The result is not going to change lives, or maybe even inspire a new generation of kids to obsess over expensive toys, but in the hands of director Steven Caple Jr. (Creed II) the film was surprisingly coherent! In large part, the film benefits from having the fresh slate afforded by essentially being a reboot (or maybe a prequel to 2018’s well-received Bumblebee) and not trying to overreach in terms of narrative complexity. It’s 1994, some upstart New Yorkers stumble their way into an alien war, globetrotting hijinks ensue, big robots go bang-bang.
The human cast features In the Heights star Anthony Ramos as Noah, always a compelling stage/screen presence, back in NYC (albeit a different borough) as an ex-military electrical engineer who’s hustling to make ends meet for his mother and little brother (Dean Scott Basquez, an In the Heights reunion) with Sickle Cell Anemia. He crosses paths with the robots when a bad job reference forces him to dabble in a little bit of grand theft autobot. Elsewhere, Dominique Fishback (the Deuce, Judas and the Black Messiah, and the buzzy new show Swarm) is a prodigious museum intern who stumbles across an incongruous artifact with alien origins. One could wish that these two talented actors had more to do, but it’s nice to see diverse casting and elevation of excellence in place of the previous iteration’s problematic gaze.
On the robot side, we of course have the too-earnest Optimus Prime, ponderous leader who eschews contractions and occasionally turns into a big red semi truck, and a coterie of other undeveloped characters. Also among the “good guys” are a time-traveling squad of robots (maybe from the future) that take the form of giant metal animals like a huge gorilla named Optimus Primal (actual lol) or a fire-breathing hawk voiced by Oscar-winner Michelle Yeoh. Despite their oversized exotic size, they’ve been hiding out on earth for thousands of years. Finally, there are the evil robots, rarely in disguise. Peter Dinklage voices Scourge, a dutiful servant of Unicron, an evil planet-eating robot planet who’s always hungry for more planets to eat. Unicron’s character design is classic furious hungry asshole; Scourge’s look and most of his generic band of merciless hunters lift heavily from Sauron with hordes of mechanical critters. Despite the vast array of voice talent, the only hulking robot with much of a personality is Pete Davidson’s Mirage. The canonical coolest autobot playboy, the fast car with holographic powers is re-introduced here as a classic Porsche 911. His presence sets up a buddy comedy vibe with Noah, and one imagines that anything actually funny jokes that make it onto the screen is a result of the comedian’s ad libbing. Intentional laughs are few and far between, but a handful sneak through.
Having been introduced to all of our characters through a series of explosive confrontations, McGuffin handoffs of coveted alien technology, and a fair share of high speed car chases, the action moves to Peru. A pleasant change scenery and a reprieve from watching an American metropolis get torn apart under the cover of night by yet another alien conflict. The change of venue gets the robots outside, and mercifully keeps most innocent human bystanders out of the crossfire as the conflict mounts to a finale whose imagery feels heavily lifted from a Lord of the Rings style confrontation against the backdrop of an ominous mountain.
The movie is a giant machine that hits all its marks. Oddly, the heroes rarely leverage the “robots in disguise” fun-factor that should be the built-in advantage for keeping audiences fascinated. The acting is fine, the story is simple yet legible, and the stakes (despite the threat of universe-ending) never feel more than mild peril. In short, it’s a live action film with the ambitions of a 1980s Saturday morning cartoon (unlike the supreme artistry of an animated masterpiece that’s a better use of your multiplex money). Faint praise, I know. But compared to the tendencies of so many recent blockbusters to suffer from bloated runtimes and overstuffed plots to service franchise tie-ins across multiple platforms, there’s something weirdly comforting about escaping the summer heat with two hours of straight down-the-middle unchallenging sci-fi action.
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts arrives in theaters on June 9.
Lead image courtesy Paramount.