Reviews

Madame Web needs an overhaul to survive long enough for a sequel

Madame Web (2024 | US | 117 mins | S.J. Clarkson)

An NYPD EMT, Cassie Web (Dakota Johnson), has a lonesome existence, but she’s more than happy with the way things are while her partner Ben forces her out of her shell and into socializing. A life and death experience brings out a new power laying dormant within her brought on by her mother’s time in the Peruvian Amazon. As her mother lay dying during child birth, locals save Cassie’s life with the help of a rare spider that supposedly offers supernatural powers. Double crossed by her supposed protection Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim), she clung to life just long enough for the birth of her daughter.

Years later, during the life-threatening incident, the spider’s powers throw Cassie into a new world of strange experiences and it just keeps getting weirder as she helps three young women survive attacks from Ezekial, now older and powerful from the same spider that impacts Cassie, but he relishes the power while she hesitantly accepts it. We come to find out the three women are all related to Cassie in some way and all have less than ideal home lives. She takes them under her wing for temporary protection but also finds comfort in the de facto family.

It’s a good thing I’m not lactose intolerant because the cheese factor in this movie would have put me in a coma. I’ll be honest, I hadn’t looked into who the director was ahead of time and finding out it was a woman (S.J. Clarkson) was more than disappointing but unsurprisingly two of the three writers are men. The characters were flat, the writing was dismal and the “strong” female storyline was more than lacking in actual strength. While Dakota Johnson isn’t my favorite actress, she’s more than capable of performing well when the writing and character depth is there for her to work with.

The three younger characters, Anya (Isabella Merced), Julia (Sydney Sweeney) and Mattie (Celeste O’Conner) had glimpses of quality but nothing so substantial as to stick out or make an impact. It was obvious Marvel is setting up a cross-over film with Spiderman (the overly-done references were worthy of more than one forehead slap) and the sequels to come with the younger actors in starring roles. I’m all for such things if it simply hints at such things near the end of the film or leaves the story open-ended. It didn’t really have merit on its own and sadly the entire film seemed to be a vehicle for future work.

As a side note, I have no idea why they would think this is a good movie to release on Valentine’s Day. None of it even whispers romance. I guess blockbuster comic-based films are the new Notebook.

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Madame Web arrives in theaters on 2/14.